Gods and Angels
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: The Lonely Angel...that was what the Doctor had once been called. But confronted by faith, fear and the departure of Rory and Amy, he was beginning to see that he was becoming less of an angel...and more of a god.


_What did it feel like, though? __Two almighty civilizations burning, tell me how did that feel?_

_Stop it!_

_You must have been like _God_..._

Tapped conversation between Harold Saxon and "the Doctor," 2008

* * *

**Gods and Angels**

The Time Lord had many names.

Most called him the Doctor. Sometimes, when he needed something more (or less?) subtle, he was called John Smith. During the Last Great Time War, he'd been called the Oncoming Storm. And once, by a certain French courtesan, he'd been called the Lonely Angel.

Odd that Reinette's words would come back to him now as he stared at the TARDIS's control console, alone apart from the sounds of its brakes (brakes were cool. He wanted to leave them on.). It had been so long ago...a lifetime ago, for all intents and purposes. Maybe it was from the knowledge that the Weeping Angels had appeared once again to an individual, even if only the manifestation of fear. Maybe it was the uneasy realization that he wasn't that different. Descending out of the sky, plucking an individual from their time zone and living off the abstract energy of friendship. Like them, he was lonely. Like them, he found it hard to face himself in the mirror.

But it was getting worse. _He _was getting worse.

There were more religions than there were stars in the sky. Whether it was a subconscious response to the whispers of the Beast or a greater need for the comfort spirituality could provide, he didn't know. What he _did _know however, was that such a need was practically universal. Only he'd come to know only recently how universal that really was. A grateful Gibbis, thrilled at the prospect of coming home and being subjected by a group of sontarans, had let slip what Amy had told him. And with the Doctor capable of being more terrifying than even a group of warrior clones, it hadn't taken long to get out of him what his friend had asked the trivolian to keep secret.

"The Doctor's been part of my life for so long now. And he's never let me down. Even when I thought he had...kids...and he left me. He came back. He...saved, me. And now he's going to save you."

Apparently trivolians (or Gibbis at least) had good memories. Good enough to not only recite a human's exact words, but also the request of not telling him due to fear of smugness. It was a fear that was unfounded really, one that should have been as non-existent as the trivolian's fear as he walked out cheerfully to meet the figures shouting "sontar ha!" Smugness? Hardly. More like worry. Even now, after proving herself quite capable (and Rory had too...he supposed...), Amy still looked to him. Her Raggedy Doctor. Not a Lonely Angel, but a synonym for all intents and purposes. Was she fated to end up the same way Reinette had? Alone, dying with false hope?

And perhaps he was going beyond the role of 'angel.' Perhaps "why" was the question the Silence sought to answer. Because even if it wasn't the first question asked in the universe, it certainly was...well, universal. To humanity at least. And Rita had been no exception.

"Why?"

"Excellent question," the wanderer had said. "Excellent question...why...what?"

"Why is it up to you to save us? That's quite a God complex you've got there."

"I brought them here," the Doctor had admitted eventually, referring to his two companions, in many ways no different from all the others that had travelled with him. "I'd say it was their choice, but offer a child a suitcase full of sweets, and they'll take it. Offer someone all of time and space and they'll take that too."

An angel...offering time and space? Or a false god, leading his followers into temptation? To 'deliver them from evil' by bringing them face to face with it, so they might marvel at his 'power and glory?' Forever and ever...as a god...

And so it had to end. There would be no "amen." He couldn't save Rita from her Jahannam...but maybe he could save Amy and Rory from something much worse. He could bring them back to Earth. To save their bodies, if not their souls...if such things existed. As a mortal, he could do that much. To refuse the position of a god, fly off in his blue box like the madman he was and return to being the proverbial angel.

But as he flew with nothing but the sounds of the TARDIS to keep him company, as he knew that the time of his death (and even gods could die) neared, he realized one other thing. Something that he had faced before, but right now, gave him a different viewpoint on it.

Angels can be lonely.

But gods are always alone.

* * *

_A/N_

_I'll spare you a detailed analysis of the nature of the episodes of Series 5 and 6 and simply get to saying that for me at least, _The God Complex _is definately the highlight of part two of the latter series for me, surpassing even _The Girl Who Waited_. Whilst my previous favourites of the two series have been duologies, this one is unique in my list by being stand-alone, and...well, a beautiful one at that. Everything from the psychological aspect to the gut punching emotions (even the death of the minotaur)...if the episode had faults, it's hard to find them._

_Anyway, came up with this as a result. Venting my emotional spleen if you will._


End file.
